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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

We think about it, sing about it, dream about it and lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain, but we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word - easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without.

- Anonymous

Monday, April 27, 2009

So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble, then I crawl.
And you could be my someone,
You could be my seed.
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me?

You'd think that after so long searching
when you've finally found happiness
that you'd actually deserve it, and keep it.
But it's not amazing, or surprising that
this life just isn't cut out to be.
I don't know what to think anymore
I don't know how I'm going to face the future
I especially don't know how I'm going to face you.
Stuck in this foreign country,
half-hearted to go home because you're there.
And I don't think I can take it.

Sometimes when you can't find your parents,
you're always told to stay put until they find you,
much like how I hope that this time,
my missing heart will come back to find me.

Until then, I lay defeated.



Sunday, April 26, 2009

When I awoke, I found myself -
lying on the floor,
with a swollen jaw,
with a hangover,
big aunt over my doorstep,
gastric pains at the side,
and fantastic news over the phone.

Great night.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Funny, I feel crippled.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow
just because I know it's a day closer
to seeing him again.
This is a sign of weakness, this is!
I'm stronger than this.
Luckily, I've company.
If I carry on my days alone,
I think I'd probably..
(Okay la, exaggerate a little)


Back from a long, tiring day with Yink!
Would upload pictures, but I don't have the cable..

First, I made my way down to NYP
after much hurrying and fussing from her
I finally realized what her hurry was.
But, it's still unclear to me
if it was good news, or bad.
Parked at Cine, ate at Chicago's,
then headed down to Topshop
to buy undergarments,
and stopped at Taka for it's
bags/shoes sale, ending up with a pair of boots.
Watched 17 Again, and went to visit Mr. Mus after.

Spent a huge sum of money today!
Wasn't even aware of it!
Sigh, the life of a shopaholic..

Macau again, tomorrow! Updates from over there ;)

Monday, April 20, 2009

As I was telling Nic the other day,
usually, people blog only when they
have something sad to say,
or something extremely happy.
Those moments in between,
where there's not too much joy,
not too much sadness
(I'd speak for myself) I'd tend to leave out.

So, here's one of those little joys that
I would make a habit
of keeping a record of..

Handsome Suit!
With Sshroomss, Lance & Jackson.
A little of HK Cafe, where I'd be
trying to convince everyone to KTV
but mission failed, in which,
they agreed to watch a show I picked instead..

And, I'm off again!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Weird dreams..

Hotdogs, rescue at sea,
Flying human bumblebees.
Jealousy & abandonment.
Team spirit, ship pending crash.

Live learning, war.
Toy soldiers, life-sized.
Classroom chaos, kidnapped family.
Like Watchmen's The Comedian.

Weird, unusual things that go through my head.

Friday, April 10, 2009

After all the swinging,
after all the hands that couldn't hold up,
after playing unlike I've ever played before,
things still don't work out,and it just keeps getting worse on my end.

Busted online, after tilting
Now, I have no cash, no morale,
and no drive to continue any further.

Somehow, my life will never work out the way I plan,
like a mosquito constantly flying into glass.

I quit.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

I got invited to a reality talent show
by my boyfriend and his parents.
On the show, while on the air,
for some weird reason, I was asked to cut
his hair, then his mother's, except this lady was
not his mother. I remember a face, I think it was
that of my mother's. And I remember thin hair,
which, as I cut, became thicker and thicker.
Then, overnight, I became a celebrity.
Somehow, the next flash was of a filming set
of an action film, straight out of James Bond.
I entered a pyramid-like structure, and walked through
a public toilet, and got mistaken for the cleaning lady.
Then, when I went to meet the director, I was ignored.
For some reason, the director was on a platform
above the acting scene, shouting instructions
through a loud-hailer. He said, "It's time for reviews"
and began shouting points at each actor watching
while facing his platform and loud-hailer towards them.
When it came to me, the platform stopped on the floor
and he said, "Anthea, YOU'RE FIRED."

And that's when the gory bits began.

I walked towards him, and attempted to kick a TV set
showing the playbacks of scenes. The TV didn't break.
Failing which, he laughed and said, "I'm not that stupid."
Then I picked up a pencil, ran towards him and
STABBED him multiple times, while he was still laughing.

Then, I walked away towards a taxi stand,
where people were standing around, without a queue.
I searched my bag, and found, three penknives.
I remember, it was magenta, and clean,
much like those fresh from stores.
And, it was sharp.

I ran back towards the set, and slashed the director,
blood spilled, like a pool. It was deep red.
I could see his guts spilling out, all the while
he was laughing and pointing at me.

And then, I woke up.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Hello readers. Or whoever's reading this.
I'm back from Macau, not a bad trip I must say.
Learnt a lot by losing a lot and then winning back a little.

There are so many things in life that I want
but I can't have, or that I feel is actually a need
when these are 'wants'.
Nevertheless, the materialistic 3 quarters of me
have an almost-impossible-to-fufil wishlist.
But, at least they're more within reach than,
say, a private home on a island off the Gulf,
or a Ferrari Enzo.

Here's to dreaming..

Mercedes C180 Coupe (or a used one will do too)
Has all the characteristics I want in a car
Two door, continental (for stability),
just the right amount of compact, and classy.
Not way out of reach, just a few more months.
I like to dream realistic dreams.

Chanel 2.55 Everyone's must-have
Sadly, I don't-have. And not just the normal, black one.
I want an odd-colour, I'm sick of black bags.
Saw one in Japan a long time ago,
sadly, my lust for it can't pay the bill.

A home at Loft Ito, in Macau.
Beautifully furnitured homes, cheap rent,
the only drawback is it's inconvenience.
But, if I had the above car in Macau,
who's to complain?

I think that's all I can lust for at the moment,
I'm not the sort who likes to leave a huge gaping hole
so that the amount of slogging I put in can cover it up.

I wish I could be more content!

15/10/1989, into fast cars, black/silver/grey, good foie gras, poker, a degenerate gambler. Hooked on appealing visuals and in love with the world's most retarded poker player, Lance.


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